1. |
Self Surgery
05:11
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Who or what is any of this for?
An empty theatre
Staring at myself
Maybe I’ve had too much time to think
Desperate to move on
Before I count to one
I draw a line here and now
From my sternum to my gut
Nothing to numb, nothing to take for the pain
Draining the pus
Breaking the surface again
I push myself under
Clean my wounds
With both eyes on the horizon
I’ve got one foot in the grave
Before I know it I’ll be dead
I can’t be scared of living anymore
I don’t know what I’m searching for
Foreign bodies
Scared of what I’ll find
Things better left unsaid
Imprisoned in skin
In the safety of familiar cells
Acclimatised to life on the inside
Psychosomatic, self inflicted
Why bother?
Let myself slip away
It got the best of me,
Well what did that leave?
Morbid curiosity compelling me to breathe
A whole year cooking in my own juices
Self awareness becomes self obsession
Self surgery, where will it leave me?
Are we healing or just rotting from the inside?
My brain’s in a blender
Flesh barely holding on
I’m bursting at the seams
I can’t hold it in anymore
With both eyes on the horizon
I’ve got one foot in the grave
Before I know it I’ll be dead
I can’t be scared of living anymore
Things are always clearer when you take another look
Life has left a back door open
Giving you a second glance
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2. |
God Complex
04:57
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A series of words to hide a lesson unlearned
Distract and delay the way you prefer
Human/inhuman
The tether is severed
The othering starts
This twisted endeavour
The pain is forever
An insignificant island nation with ideas above its station
Are you noticing a pattern?
Leaps of logic come dyed in the wool
Terminally deluded
It’s only yourselves you manage to fool
A nation waits
Breath baited
In the shadow of an obsolete weapon
A nation waits
Breath baited
We hold a blunt knife to the throat of a colossus
Slide down the slope, getting ever closer
A supernatural veil for a darker reality
Their words hide a nuclear wind
Like a breeze through chimes
Before the storm
Before the crossed line
A series of words to hide a lesson unlearned
Distract and delay the way you prefer
Human/inhuman
The tether is severed
The othering starts
This twisted endeavour
The pain is forever
You see yourself as the hero
You’re the only one
Barrels (Gun????) to the head in mutual respect
The threat rests in the hand not the gun
Does it disappoint you to know your version of evil doesn’t exist?
Just people in power hiding what’s real
You have no idea where this path will end
Is it worse to imagine that maybe you do
After all you’re only human
An insignificant island nation with ideas above its station
Are you noticing a pattern?
Leaps of logic come dyed in the wool
Only yourselves you fooled
Does it make it easier to accept
To imagine great horns, gnashing teeth, sharp claws, black eyes
Absolute power
Dooms us all in the end
You may only see a rotten flower
But it sits atop a stem
Roots and soil
And to get to where its got to
It’s needed water to drink
Air to breathe
And sunlight on which to feed
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3. |
The Hatchet
03:58
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Worked your way up from nothing
But with nothing standing in your way
You think you’re measured
You think you’re the definition of grace and poise
Blind eyes
Deaf ears
Cross-eyed in the centre ground
All these years
Dig it up/I’m digging up the hatchet
I’m digging up the hatchet
‘cause sometimes words are not enough
You always say ‘it’s just your age’
You only say that from your cage
Happy with what you’ve got
Satisfied with your lot
I can’t make you care
Let’s let cooler head prevail
My heart goes out to you
I hear you
I understand
Please accept this round of applause
Please accept these prayers and thoughts
Please expect nothing to change
Please understand we feel your pain
Understand it’s no one’s fault
Understand that nothing more can be done
Where’s your sense of decorum
Where’s your trust in the system
They’ve gone the same way as your sense of compassion
The same way as your sense of empathy
Going, going, going, gone
Enough to be happy
To live comfortably
Enough to close your eyes
Enough to never need to ask why
Is there a cure for this acute apathy
Do you hope you’ll leave this mortal coil
Before the horror starts
Before the sleeping giant awakens
Whether you believe there’s always hope
Or you think you’re some kind of misanthrope
You take the easy way out to hide the truth unspoken
Suppression won’t make us equal
If the conversation dies there will be no sequel
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4. |
Fat of the Land
03:15
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Dehumanising, demonising
Unfettered access to hate unabashed
You won a lottery
Yet you act like it was all strategy
Take the boot from out your mouth
and let’s see what dribbles out
Do your own research
But only what you want to hear
The kind that validates all your inner prejudice and fears
Ugly thoughts like a parasite
Creeping in pushing out
Til they’re spilling out from your mouth and ears
Starved of love
You’re capable of so much more
They’ve got you
Obeying for blood
To be told that you’re never ever wrong
That you’re something special from day one
Nine hundred and thirty six weeks go by
Then you’re let loose
Shiny and glistening
The filth sticks to your skin permeating, percolating
Skin never thickening
Layers of muck
Just another layer of hurt
And we’re all wading knee deep
Trying to pull ourselves out
Root and stem
They pretend they’re on your side
No prophet, all pander
All bluster, no candour
Nothing but fear
Being taught for years and years
Polished words for idle hands
So that they one day sew hate
Starved of love
They’ve got you
Obeying for blood
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5. |
Silhouette
04:30
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How many times will you examine
Something that’s long dead
Can’t count how many times I’ve been back
The decay remains the same
Time passed me
Can I catch me
Can I leave this skin
Growing pain I’m feeling
Parting ways with myself
Can’t take another look ‘cause I need to go
Can’t let myself let it go
Will I ever be at rest
Will I find a final form
Will there ever be a final scene
What happens when the lights go down
Don’t want to take the easy way,
You miss the point of this pain
I know I need it
This is a lesson
Let go
Birch, hazel
Peeling your skin
Hidden useless punishment
Won’t stop the bruises on your chin
I know we can’t go on
Living as a silhouette
Rooted to the spot
We can’t stay put yet
Parting ways
Shedding skin
Don’t be afraid to lose yourself
An autopsy
An exorcism
Bathe my brain in a chemical bath
Break from the darkness and let it be gone
Let it be gone
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6. |
Out of Body
05:56
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A million voices
Revolve inside my head
Looking over my shoulder
But all that’s there’s a mirror
Closing every door
I don’t want to speak anymore
No man is an island
But it’s getting that way
And I’m starting to feel
Like that’s how I want to be
To cut myself off from the mainland
Is it because I don’t recognise the people
Or because I don’t recognise myself
Too busy thinking of the words on the stone
Without a second’s thought for who’s carving it
As the sun sets
Shadows looms ever larger
And night after night they swallow me whole
This might not be better
But it won’t feel the same
Parasocially induced ineptitude
A million voices
Revolve inside my head
When you leave it all behind
What is left for you to keep
Always pulling up the roots
Are we nothing but driftwood
Defined by strangers
Estranged from familiars
I’m fading in and out
Dry mouthed from social drought
I cower in an unlocked cell
Voluntary deprivation of the senses
Escapism a permanent
Destination
Waiting for a sign that’ll never come
Seeking a connection
I put the scalpel down
I scan for someone else
To know the ones around me is to know myself
Looking around at the empty theatre
Innards tightly clutched in my bloody hands
They’re mine forever
They’re mine forever
They’re mine forever
Parasocially induced ineptitude
A million voices
Revolve inside my head
When you leave it all behind
What is left for you to keep
Forever pulling up the roots
Are we nothing but driftwood?
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7. |
Backwash
03:33
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How can you stand yourself when you’ve got no spine
This isn’t infinite growth
It’s the end of a crumbling road
No exceptions to the rule
This is how it always was
Is it how it always will be?
Trickle down
Settle down
Going down, we’re going down
Crushed under an ever-lowering glass ceiling
Don’t bite the hand that feeds
Until it’s gripped around your neck
Living so unsustainably
Expected to be thankful as we drink down your backwash
If we can’t be used we’ll be trampled underfoot
I’m tired of the talk just give it to me straight
Your lack of honesty has cost the life of another
You are a quisling, conscious enabler
All of the power
None of the will
Green paint smeared on the walls fades
Exposing the grey beneath
Seeing everything
Sharing nothing
Softening the words of the cruel
Everything’s ruined
The world’s collapsing down the middle
Flaying the skin from the truth’s back
Sandblasting the writing on the wall
It’s all water under the bridge
But the river has burst its banks
I’m lying on a table clinging onto life
You’re lying to my face saying it’ll all be fine
Tell me how can you stand yourself when you’ve got no spine
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8. |
Qualia
06:52
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Grieving for what’s not yet gone
Crippled by the fear of loss
Clouds form, the wind of change
Or just another draught?
Living as if all of time will wait for me
As if I am all that will exist
No dread
No fear
No agency
Will we remember the lesson
Paradoxical lucidity
Will we realise only too late
That this is all we have
As you walk out the door
Into a blinding grey
You’ll take a part of me,
Just as I will carry you
Both of us, never to be known again
Innocence’s tight embrace relaxes
As I wave goodbye to youth
In slow motion
Against my will
I’m forced to wave goodbye to you
It’s all gone and it’s not coming back
I can’t afford to kill time when time is killing me
Slow it all down and take a look around
The door opens
Take a second glance
You’ll never get a second chance
Do you see me as you once did?
I’m wading through this hurt
The world is flying by and fading faster still
A conduit fading but with so much still to give and take
It’s later than you think
It’s later than you think
Fallen out of touch with life
I let it get away from me
Before I count to one
Don’t take it all away from me
To live in the moment
Still seems a dream
All I can change is me
All I can do is love
Tapping on the glass
Knocking on the front door
Trying to find a present moment
Are you going to go home
Or will you sit yourself down
Hoping on the off chance
A light will come on
When the sun shines behind the clouds
I see it clearer than I ever could before
I feel its warmth gently touch my face
And while I’m sitting here with you
I know it’s not the end of the world
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Godeater Glasgow, UK
Godeater: A death metal band based in Glasgow, Scotland.
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